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The game begins with Praxagora leaving the house on the Athenian street before dawn. She wears a fake beard and men’s clothes, and she carries a cane and a lit lamp. A chorus of Athenian women enter one on one, all dressed in a similar costume. In order to be more convincingly courageous, some women developed tans and stopped shaving armpits. One woman brings a full basket of yarn in order to get the job done, as the assembly replenishes, to which Praxagora reports to her for this decision, as this will ruin their cover.
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Contents
CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY
Praxagora
Blepyrus, husband of Praxagora
Women
A man
Chremes
A citizen
Herald
A girl
A young man
Three old women
A servant maid to Praxagora
Chorus of women
[Scene:-The Orchestra represents a public square in Athens; in the background are two houses with an alley between them.]
Praxagora
[swinging the lantern, which is to be a signal for the other women; in high tragic style]
Oh! Thou shining light of my earthenware lamp, from this high spot shalt thou look abroad. Oh! lamp, I will tell thee thine origin and thy future; ’tis the rapid whirl of the potter’s wheel that has lent thee thy shape, and thy wick counterfeits the glory of the sun; mayst thou send the agreed signal flashing afar! In thee alone do we confide, and thou art worthy, for thou art near us when we practise the various postures in which Aphrodite delights upon our couches, and none dreams even in the midst of her sports of seeking to avoid thine eye that watches us. Thou alone shinest into the secret recesses of our thighs and dost singe the hair that groweth there, and with thy flame dost light the actions of our loves. If we open some cellar stored with fruits and wine, thou art our companion, and never dost thou betray or reveal to a neighbour the secrets thou hast learned about us. Therefore thou shalt know likewise the whole of the plot that I have planned with my friends, the women, at the festival of the Scirophoria.
[She pauses and looks about her.]
I see none of those I was expecting, though dawn approaches; the Assembly is about to gather and we must take our seats in spite of Phyromachus, who forsooth would say, “It is meet the women sit apart and hidden from the eyes of the men.” Why, have they not been able then to procure the false beards that they must wear, or to steal their husbands’ cloaks? Ah! I see a light approaching; let us draw somewhat aside, for fear it should be a man.
[She hides in the alley. From the right a woman enters, followed almost immediately by others. All are carrying staffs, men’s sandals, and cloaks over their arms.]
First woman
Let us start, it is high time; as we left our dwellings, the cock was crowing for the second time.
Praxagora [to herself]
And I have spent the whole night waiting for you. [She emerges from the alley.] But come, let us call our neighbour by scratching at her door; and gently too, so that her husband may hear nothing.
Second woman
[coming out of her house; she is dressed like a man, with a staff in her hand]
I was putting on my shoes, when I heard you scratching, for I was not asleep, so there! Oh! my dear, my husband–he is a Salaminian–never left me an instant’s peace, but was at me, for ever at me, all night long, so that it was only just now that I was able to filch his cloak.
Praxagora
I see Clinarete coming too, along with Sostrate and their next-door neighbour Philaenete. [To the women that are just arriving; in a loud voice] Hurry yourselves then, for Glyce has sworn that the last comer shall forfeit three measures of wine and a choenix of pease.
Second woman
Don’t you see Melistice, the wife of Smicythion, hurrying hither in her big shoes? I think she is the only one of us all who has had no trouble in getting rid of her husband.
First woman
And can’t you see Geusistrate, the tavern-keeper’s wife, with a lamp in her hand?
Praxagora
And the wives of Philodoretus and Chaeretades, and a great many others; all the useful people in the city, in fact.
Third woman
Oh! my dear, I have had such trouble in getting away! My husband ate such a surfeit of sprats last evening that he was coughing and choking the whole night long.
Praxagora
Take your seats, and, since you are all gathered here at last, let us see if what we decided on at the feast of the Scirophoria has been duly done.
First woman
Yes. Firstly, as agreed, I have let the hair under my armpits grow thicker than a bush; furthermore, whilst my husband was at the Assembly, I rubbed myself from head to foot with oil and then stood the whole day long in the sun.
Second woman
So did I. I began by throwing away my razor, so that I might get quite hairy, and no longer resemble a woman.
Praxagora
Have you the beards that we had all to get ourselves for the Assembly?
First woman
Yea, by Hecate! Is this not a fine one?
Second woman
Aye, much finer even than the one Epicrates has.
Praxagora [to the other women]
And you?
First woman
Yes, yes; look, they all nod assent.
Praxagora
I see that you have got all the rest too, Spartan shoes, staffs and men’s cloaks, as it was arranged.
First woman
I have brought Lamias’ club, which I stole from him while he slept.
Praxagora
What, the club that makes him fart with its weight?
Second woman
By Zeus the Deliverer, if he had the skin of Argus, he would know better than any other how to shepherd the popular herd.
Praxagora
But come, let us finish what has yet to be done, while the stars are still shining; the Assembly, at which we mean to be present, will open at dawn.
First woman
Good; you must take up your place at the foot of the platform and facing the Prytanes.
Second woman
I have brought this with me to card during the Assembly.
[She shows some wool.]
Praxagora
During the Assembly, wretched woman?
Second woman
Surely, by Artemis! shall I hear any less well if I am doing a bit of carding? My little ones are all but naked.
Praxagora
Think of her wanting to card! whereas we must not let anyone see the smallest part of our bodies. ‘Twould be a fine thing if one of us, in the midst of the discussion, rushed on to the speaker’s platform and, flinging her cloak aside, showed her Phormisius. If, on the other hand, we are the first to take our seats closely muffled in our cloaks, none will know us. Let us fix these beards on our chins, so that they spread all over our bosoms. How can we fail then to be mistaken for men? Agyrrhius has deceived everyone, thanks to the beard of Pronomus; yet he was no better than a woman, and you see how he now holds the first position in the city. Thus, I adjure you by this day that is about to dawn, let us dare to copy him and let us be clever enough to possess ourselves of the management of affairs. Let us save the ship of state, which just at present none seems able either to sail or row.
First woman [in a tragic style]
But where shall we find orators in an Assembly of women?
Praxagora
Nothing simpler. Is it not said that the cleverest speakers are those who get made love to most often? Well, thanks to the gods, we are that by nature.
First woman
There’s no doubt of that; but the worst of it is our inexperience.
Praxagora
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